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About Portland observer. (Portland, Or.) 1970-current | View Entire Issue (June 18, 1997)
• -i< ,A’A* > s ífe s y15 '‘¿ ' *• < "-• * *■* . . -■ ‘ /e *<wSEaPx£ S B j B B H H SS v 8 . . j •. . » • * * * • ’ T he P ortland O bserver • J une 18, 1997 Get oyer it and get on with your life Adoptive home sought ious R icardo S tanton m i J Jm unious Life presents its’ share o f disappoint ments., setbacks, adversity and pain No one is exempt from hurt, misfortune or situations over which we have absolutely no control. I f you haven’t experienced any o f these yet rest assured, in due time you w ill. It is all part o f being alive. No matter what happens to us, we can make the decision to control our responses I am not suggesting we deny or minimize our pain, heartache or disappointment. Certainly we should acknowledge we are grieving, upset or frustrated. However, at some point we have to decide to get over whatever happened and get on with our lives. Hosting a perpetual pity party benefits no one. Our emotions are the result o f conscious and unconscious thought processes that precipitate emotional responses. I say un conscious because many times we attempt to stu ff our memories and feelings below our conscious awareness o f them. But be cause we have attached so much mental and emotional energy to them, they pop up from our subconscious when we least ex pect them. We see something that reminds us o f a loved one who has passed on, or we hear a song on the radio and start crying or become resentful. We may find ourselves unable to sleep or notice we are grinding our teeth or we’ ve developed a nervous twitch. We may turn to food, alcohol, drugs or sex for comfort, solace or relief. This only exacerbates the problem and leads us down a road we really d id n ’t intend to travel. travel. What is the best solution to ease our pain and angst? Wisdom often is really simple, offering uncomplicated solutions to human problems. The answer is to get over what ever it is that’s troubling you and get on with your life! how do you get over disappoint ment and pain? By forgiving and m oving on. It is essential for a healthy mind, heart and soul. What is forgiveness, you ask? forgive ness is a mental and emotional exchange. You substitute feelings o f understanding and acceptance for your pain, anger or de pression. Why should you do this? Because your vexation, sorrow and resentment w ill eat you up. When you become angry your blood pressure goes up, your heart rate in creases and your body’ s fig ht-fligh t physi ological functions kick in. A ll this is fine i f there is a real crisis or life threatening situ ation, but i f it is merely a mental replay o f events that happened days, weeks, months or years ago, it’ s counter productive and unhealthy. Why get in a tether over some thing that is long over and done? Get over it and get on with your life. The world doesn’ t care i f you are angry or whether or not it is justified. It does care however i f your anger is preventing you from doing your jo b or is making you ill. Forgiveness doesn’ t mean you have to forget what happened or even like what happened. Forgiveness means you have to accept that it happened and decide you w ill no longer resent the fact that it happened. Forgiveness means changing your attitude and react, < / to what happened Learn fro happened. Learn from it. Look for the message in the mess, the lesson in the loss and the ordination in the ordeal Determine to look for ways to emerge from the experience stronger, wiser and more confident Someone once said, "when bad things happen you can either be bitter or you can be better.” Choose to be better I am not suggesting that you can alter your perspective or feelings overnight. Get ting over a painful or traumatic experience takes time and a personal commitment to getting better. Time alone is not enough You have to be determined to bounce back and get well. You have to realize that change is an integral part o f life, even when the changes are uncomfortable, distressing or disturbing. Accepting this puts you in control mentally and emotionally. Know ing you can control your responses and reactions to whatever happens to you w ill help you regain your emotional equilibrium and focus. Ify o u feel in control o f yourself you cannot feel hopeless or helpless. Being aware and in control is the first step. Being proactive is the next. Start thinking positively and optim istically and act in congruence w ith your thinking. Take the initiative to do those things you know are in your best interests. Ifyou don't know, ask; seek help or counseling. Live in the now by learning from your mistakes and painful experiences. Focus on the lessons you’ ve learned and accentuate the positive aspects o f them. Then get over them and get on w ith your life. This pleasant and interactive toddler loves to play with the c h il dren and adults he is close to Riley is one o f over 350 Oregon children looking for an adoptive home. De spite an in itia l shyness, R iley rea dily shows excitem ent and warmth for people he cares about R iley’s special needs include early p renatal d ru g e xpo sure and Klinefelter's Syndrome which have left him w ith Various delays. He has made great progress already and would assuredly be gratifying to parent. The unknowns facing his future are outweighed by the rewards o f sharing in the small, progressive steps be takes daily. A stable, nur turing fam ily could help this pre cious child to stretch and explore his potential. Oregon agencies waive or reduce fees for the adop tion o f Oregon’s children in state care, and preadoption trainings are offered statewide. To learn more about adoption and the children awaiting homes, contact The Spe cial Needs Adoption Coalition at The Boys and Girls A id Society, (503)2229661. tt n e w ncew icH /.i Ka'Vantae La 'Rome Cornelius Powell May 29, 1997; Male 7lbs I3oz; 20 1/2" Mother: Latonia Crain Father: Kevin Powell Espy speaks on the USDA, Clinton On America’ s Black Forum, form er A g riculture Secretary M ike Espy discusses his term in office at the USDA and his attempts to cultivate Black participation w ithin the bureaucracy. When asked i f the USDA is currently operating in a “ racist manner” concerning loans to Black farmers. Espy says, “ there’ s no question about that...There was a study done, and they (the USD A) admitted that they have a long way to go before they can reach satisfaction in the selection and placement o f A frica n-A m eri can men and women in the bureaucracy.” From Whitewater to Donorgate, and the resignations o f various top-level officials, the Clinton administration has seemingly been plagued by disgrace. But Espy, who currently works for a M is sissippi law firm , says he thinks the Presi dent w ill overcome all o f the charges. “ I don’t see any paralysis. I see the President moving right along.” In the area o f affirm ative action and civil rights, though, Espy gives the President a grade o f B-minus “ I think there are many, many qualified African-Am erican men and women who deserve appointment to this cabinet and administration, particularly in his inner circle.” Espy was among the casualties during Women TTT m C linton’s first term. In 1994, he left his post at the USDA amidst allegations o f miscon duct. “ These things that I ’ m, accused to have done are trivial and I really don't think that they’ re crim inal whatsoever," he says, add ing that the process for choosing special prosecutors needs to be reformed. "These people are from the opposite party, so they have an agenda and they are very vigorous about promoting their agenda.” The difference in focus between the Demo cratic and Republican parties is one reason why many African-Americans continue to vote for the Democratic Party, according to Espy, who cites the example o f the recently discussed balanced budget package. “ The Democrats wanted morespendingon lifestyle programs such as education, health care, and housing and the Republican Party inces o SAFEWAY i as careg African American Women who are rais ing their grandchildren report feeling less burdened in their caregiving role, even though they have fewer resources than Wh ite grandmothers. These women show amazing strength in even the most d iffic u lt situa tions. While to date 64 African Americans have participated in Bradley U niversity’ s Grand parent Study, researchers at the Center on Aging are seeking additional African Am eri can grandmothers, age 50 or older, living with a grandchild in homes that do not include the grandchild’s parents, to partici pate in this ground-breaking national study. The goal o f the study is to identify areas in which grandparents raising grandchidlren find satifaction and fu lfillm en t, as well as those areas where greater support is needed Results from this study would be used to develop programs and policies that could support grandparents in this vital role. Participation in the study is free Inform a tion received from participants during the interview session is completely private and santly clamored for cuts in taxes, principally on capital gains and state taxes.” A m e rica ’s Black Forum, a half-hour weekly syndicated television show, airs on 71 television station nationwide. Host Juan W illiam s leads this week’s discussion, along w ith co m m en ta tors Ju lia n Bond and Armstrong W illiam s. Please check your lo cal listing for air time and station. L a ’NasIta Nashay Annette Delia Raker May 28, 1997; Female 7lbs 7oz; 20 inches Mother: Carmen Rivera Father: Deon Baker B eginning E xperience O f O regon Beginning Experience is announcing their next g rie f recovery retreat for the Divorced, Separated, and Widowed. This unique, copyrighted weekend program was developed with the assistance o f the founder o f Marriage Encounter, and is designed to help the form ally married work through their grief and experience renewal. Beginning Experience is an international non-profit organization and ecumenical peer- m inistry-open to those o f all faiths. Date: June 27-29, 1997; Location: Triangh • I ' l l #» P o t r o - i t C'a information, call Frank (503) 649-5676, Jeanette (503) 399-6923 or Lydia (5- SUMMER VALUES! K« Bumble Bee Chunk Light Tuna Beef T-Bone Steak FOOD & DRUG EXPIRES 6/24/97 • Valu Pack 4 or more • First 2 Valu Packs Look For Your • SAVE up Io $2.11 lb. Safeway Weekly Shopping Guide SAFEW AY ( L I) COUPON «TU’® i I I I I I • 6-oz • Water or Oil packed • First 6 with coupon J B umblebee t In Your Oregonian FOODday in the Portland Metro Area ...and save more shopping at Safeway • SAVE up to $1.97 on three / B umble B eet Enjoy Extra Savings With The SAFEWAY EXTRA In-Store Savings Guide Available at your Safeway store. Visit Safeway s Web site at w w w .safew ay.co m l imit two per coupon One coupon pet customer Coupon vaM 6/18/97 thru 6/24/9? it your Oregon Safeway ^ ^ . I Smaller Packages, $3.29 lb. 1 I f I 1 stores (except Milton , Freewater) and S W Washington Safeway stores serving Clark Wahkiakum Cowtit? | I > 7 tg ii/g n b /'Z mh , 000000088299 picked at itr Peak X . ] ■ ’W 000 " 08829*'"_9j Northwest Cherries A summer treat. Ripe, full of sweet flavor and picked at their peak. confidential. Grandparents interested in participating or lean ing more about the Grandparent Study can contact Erin Driscoll at I -800-695-5927. PLU# 8829 N obody does it B etter ' for L ess .